I watched a recent documentary of a Buddhist nun, who has become known for cooking excellent food at her monastery. So impressed, the owner of a fancy restaurant in New York asked her to his restaurant to cook for a special group of invited guests.
One journalist who was invited to the event declined. He cited being too busy and he thought that Korean monastery food would be little more than soggy kimchi.
After the insistence of the restaurant owner, he went to the event. In describing the experience he later said that he didn’t want to be hyperbolic, but it was life-changing.
So much so, that he hopped on a plane and visit the nun at her monastery.
One day during his visit, she waved him to follow her. They sat down on a bridge over a little creek and she gestured for him to listen.
So he concentrated on the sound of running water and even got a bit into the experience.
After a while of experiencing, the nun leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Orchestra.”
It’s been more than three decades since I’ve touched a mind-altering substance.
Before that, I used a great variety of that kind of substances. And when the opportunity presented itself, I consumed copious amounts.
Today I know it was my way to try to connect. I so desperately wanted to feel some form of connection. I longed for some way to relate.
I think most everyone who is doing drugs is trying desperately to touch God in the end. I would even go so far as to say that we are “trying to touch God with our eyes open and our gloves off.” An expression I learned from my wife.
I was fortunate that I realized relatively early on that if I didn’t stop consuming those substances, it would kill me.
I was even more fortunate that I found people, teachers, guides, friends who showed me ways to touch and know god without having to take a substance.
During one of those drug-induced adventures I had an experience that was so astoundingly beautiful I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want for it to end, ever.
It felt like it was the answer to all my longing and prayers.
I was in the middle of what I would today call the Web of Life, the Field of Awareness. Woven with brightly glistening fibers in the most magnificent colors you could imagine. Deeply interwoven and flowing gracefully like giant waves made of bright colorful woven strings of light and love and aliveness and extraordinary mesmerizing elegant beauty.
Everything was connected and I was connected to everything. Pure connection of everything with everything.
I was touching God with my gloves off and my eyes open.
Of course, it faded after I came down from the trip.
So profound of an experience, it inspired me to keep searching. With the use of drugs for a while, but nothing came ever close again to the “Web of Life” experience so that slowly I turned my attention to spiritual offerings.
Not really knowing what exactly I was searching for, except if there was even the slightest change of something like that experience being a reality in life, I would give my life to find it.
I became driven by my conviction that there had to be more to life than what I was living. There had to be more than what I was seeing in how everyone was living around me.
More to this surface level of experiencing my life.
More to this surface level of showing up in my relationships.
This shallow surface level pretending of how life was supposed to be lived.
I felt that that life was largely empty of meaning, not to mention heart to heart connections, which I later learned makes everything in life worth living.
Today I would say that surface level living was a crime of boredom and a waste of sacred potential.
In Ka Ta See terms, you could say I was utterly and deeply asleep.
But I was driven by the conviction that there had to be meaning to my life, all life.
More than thirty years later I am standing in a place in my life that for many years I could not imagine and rarely dared to dream of.
I fought my demons. I battled them for many years. I have lived the pain of isolation and despair, hopelessness even.
And I realized that it was all an illusion.
I was fighting my own shadows. Thoughtforms, masks, fears, artificial constructs that I learned to believe to be real and so in a way they became real.
I lived many years of my life engaged in battle with them.
I lived many years of my life where I defined myself by those battles.
I was convinced that that was reality and I defined myself by how well I fought.
Eventually, I realized that reality is beyond all that.
Life is beyond all that.
The truth I was searching for all of my life was lying in wait for me to discover, beyond all that.
And as is often the case when trying to describe such truth, such reality, words are most often but a shadow of its reality.
To hear an orchestra of life, where would you begin to give even a glimpse of the breathtaking beauty, of the glorious magnificence of what life, all life is and how it dances in harmony with each other every second of its existence?
Everything is alive and conscious. Everything is connected in an intricate masterpiece of webs.
Everything has a Song, everything! From the tiniest blade of grass to the tallest sequoia tree, from the tiniest bug to the most amazing looking wildlife, from a grain of sand to the tallest mountain, everything has a Song.
And it sings it with passion and aliveness to everything else in existence.
It’s an orchestral performance that is impossible to put into words. And everything, everyone in existence is part of it. Everything takes part in its breathtaking glorious magnificent performance every second of their existence.
Except for humans.
We ignore it. We pretend it isn’t real. We distract ourselves from it in every conceivable way we can come up with.
We believe in the pretend ways we are being taught about what life is. We are so indoctrinated with those pretend ways of how to live and how to be and as a consequence so heavily invested in them, we are willing to kill and die for them.
We live in the shallows.
All the while the orchestra of life keeps on playing and the glorious beauty of all life dancing to it, all of life’s passion dancing to it, utterly passes us by.
At best some people play with spirituality. They learn to believe that the peak experiences they gain in meditation or ceremony is what it’s all about. When in reality, those moments are but a minuscule glimpse of the reality of the majestic magnificent orchestral dance of life.
In reality, life is the ceremony.
And we are part of it.
We are part of the dance of webs woven intricately intimately together with love and aliveness. There to experience at any time without the aid of mind alternating substances.
Nourishing, healing, nurturing, deeply loving and fulfilling and caring.
And we have blinded ourselves to it.
Early on as a newborn you likely had some knowing of it.
And then you learned to believe that it doesn’t exist. You learned the proper way to be an adult so that now most people live a life lacking in meaning largely because we are blinded to the beauty around us.
But you can re-learn of its existence again.
You can learn to experience and see the reality of the dance of exquisite beauty and love of all life and how to awaken yourself to take part in it, again.
And not just for a moment, for a tiny fraction of your life, but for all of your life.
I won’t pretend that it will be an easy journey.
I can, though, guarantee you that it has the potential to be a more fun, fulfilling, healing and freeing journey than most of everything you are being offered to believe in on your travels these days.
If you are curious to get a big taste of what I’m sharing here, join us for The Call Of Your Song, a new class we are offering to teach you about the truth of who you are and the life you can learn to live.
A class designed for you to learn to get into your heart, to feed your soul and to touch your sacred within.
Once you learn to do that you will begin to get an understanding of the orchestra of life, and you will be able to take part in it, if you so choose. It will no longer just pass you by.
Here is the link to get the details about the class and to register: http://katasee.com/the-call-of-your-song
We can’t wait to start guiding you on this journey of re-discovering more about yourself and the hidden beauty of the world you live in.
Song to Song,
PS: If you have questions or would like to talk with us about our new “The Call Of Your Song” program, please contact us.
Chapter One - The Reluctant Shaman
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